mindcandy pennies from the overgenerous lunatic

Joey needs a lappie and a gym

It has finally come to the point where getting a laptop for me would mean less time wasted. And also teh fact that meetings would be less painful when I need to write down the minutes. Also including the fact that writing my book would be much, much more easier when I am not in front of a computer. I cant be in front of my PC all the time.

But then again, I probally dont need one because I am most often in front of my pc in the office anyways. It's my cosy lil room that needs a pc. But I use the cosy lil room only as my sleeping place and nothing more. I'm also very afraid of it getting snitched or me getting robbed and beaten up, or even killed because of it....not really worth my life over but it's better to not have it in that case...the money could really go to something better.

likewise, I've been getting less and less sleep, and more and more exhausted untill all my weird emotions implode in me causing lots of mess elsewhere in joeyland...the only way I could survive the entire week was through caffeine pills aka lipo 6 coupled with 40 pushups and 50 situps a day. every day without fail. else i would have been so tired I would transmute into a corpse and lay slanted on my keyboard. Nice side effect: waist went down by another 2 inches, making me officially 32inches. 3 more inches to be at my purfeckt waistline. My weight has been stabilized at 76kg...and a receeding waistline means I'm gaining muscle and burning fat xD. Since everyone's going plump at KMP except for Susan and Joe, my esteemed bosses, who could be cyborgs or gods for all I could know since they're super efficient and can stay thin, I'm determined to bring sexy back (cue justin timberlake's sexyback) to KMP. Get ripped and mean. Although that wont really materialize till we move near Anabolic gym at aman suria. Then I'd resume my iron pumping passion. I'm sure my mind would be sharper if I had a better, stronger body and I wont feel like a zombie everyday. Blood will finally be flowing in my body again, since I do suffer tremendously from poor circulation since I was young and the sauna/steam room usually helps in making me feel less blur and numb.

Speaking of which, I have a book due at end of march. contract and everything has been signed but I need 4 more chapters before it completes. I've been deadly busy for the past few weeks due to the huge project of revamping the online site, as well as suffering through depression which kinda blocks out my ability for creative avenues, including writing and singing. Intrestingly, not much people understand that part of the itinery: they just think that I am lazy. I dont care if they're tom cruise clones and deny the existence and symptoms of depression and jump on the couch at the same time, but fact is this kinda thing happens to me and it did, it has this effect and it is definetely not me being lazy. Depression can be solved by starving myself enough and eating only enough to keep me awake. It's better than slashing or stabbing myself in the thighs. Pain helps. I'm currently under lots of stress now and I'm not handling it well. Depression keeps trying to seep in and I'm losing energy fending them off. Exercise produces enough feel good hormones to keep them at bay.

anyways. off to bed.