mindcandy pennies from the overgenerous lunatic

Nachbreinner : prologue (possible novel)

Its been days now since my life got a turn for the more bizzare. But I'm not really complaining yet.

 Everyone, it seems, seems to have their own ideals. Even me. Only diffrence is, I'm wildly diffrent from everyone else here. This is unfamiliar territory. And I am no longer what I was. Only thing I know now is to serve my master by eliminating evil targets.

I still remember what it was like, a long time ago before all these started. Before I was forced into this predicament.

 I was the only child of my parents, who had merger income, just enough to provide a comfortable and happy home with what we needed - an education, books, a computer, television and most of all, a pair of caring parents, who did little to understood me, but neverthenless, loved me for what I am. I had little friends because I felt that I never fit in to any group. People would reject me as I was too diffrent from them, or so I thought. During that time, I often complained that my life was boring, and how much I wanted to end it. I was unhappy because I was happy. Or, more accurately, because there was no reason for me to live. No worlds for me to save. No universe for me to defend. It was boring and mundane, and I know that I am meant for bigger things.

My parents never allowed me to take up any form of martial arts, as they were peace loving people. But my lust towards blood and violence grew stronger and stronger each day. Violent video games played through my computer helped quench my thirst for the blood of demons, but I still have them. I often felt misplaced in my body, which was weak, fat and limp. It was in the worst shape possible because I had been kept away by my parents who really treasured me from socializing from a young age and thus, I spent my time indoors, not being able to get it in shape. And, due to the lack of friends, books became my companions, but that was slowly replaced with the computer as it arrived into my room. No one at school liked me. They stayed away from me and I never knew why. And I hated them for treating me diffrent.

Thus, depression set in. I lost intrest in living and drove away all the friends I had. My best friend who tried his best to care for me couldnt take it anymore when I started demanding to know every bit of him. I was unreasonable. But I could not help it. He gave up on me while hating me, although he denies it. And serval other friends too have been converted into enemies by my irrational behaviour. For all I know, they hated my guts. And I hated them too because they hurt me a lot. Each day, my heart grew darker and darker as I embraced the pain that they brought to me. And the longing for me to taste their blood in my mouth grew fonder each day. The warm, creamy red liquid that has the wonderful aroma of iron. How I wish it flowed down my throat as I bit off tender chunks of flesh from their necks as revenge for hurting me deeply so. But I could not. I dare not.

I continued to mope their loss and drowned myself in a downward spiral, to a point where I started to hear voices telling me I was useless and I needed to end my life to start a new one. It sounded like a very good idea, but I did not have the courage. I was a coward. So, instead, I wondered into long walks alone in the middle of nowhere looking for the place I belong. This helped me in calming my lust for raw flesh and blood. My human side was slowly dissolving into a monster. 

And I found it. Or rather they found me. My master. I still remember the day I met my master. It was the day where I met my destiny and everything else that I belonged to.

I was walking into a desolate path. It was a jungle path, one of the many jungle reserves that the city of my area have. A nice place to go. No one to disturb me and judge me when I cry. A perfect place for mending all my wounds. But it was already late and the area was dark. There was an abandoned place that seemed like a place that no one visits. Strangely, it has never been there before but I felt tempted to go check it out. The moment I reached, I saw a tiger attacking a deer and its child. The tiger was heartless as I can see through its eyes. It was cold and piercing while the doe tried to protect its child. My lips could taste its blood, and andrenalin flushed my body. I have to taste raw flesh and blood. Must. But the doe's frightened, yet sad but furious eyes stirred my anger as the bambi looked in fear and helplessly. Righteousness. I must have righteousness. I lunged at the tiger's neck and gave it a strong bite. I could taste blood and it was all that I cared. the tiger's claws sunk into my shoulders, but the pain was overwhelmed by a sense of arousal and euphoria that consumed my body the minute. The deer and her young scampered away as I sucked the blood out of that animal with my mouth. Warm, tasty, creamy, fragnant blood. And a struggling victim that is evil. Evil blood tasted as good as I imagined it to be for so long. And I kept drinking. All I could think of was to have more of this divine liquid as well as the satisfaction that I have killed an evil being. The wounds on my back dosent seem to hurt at all. All I can feel is raw energy flowing through my veins. Eventually, the tiger's paws weakened their grip and fell down. The struggles became weaker and weaker, and finally they stopped, with a look of horror on the tiger's eyes. I felt blessed. The feeling that this is what I should have been doing for a very long time overwrote everything else in my mind - the computer, my studies, my friends, and all my memories which I required to be who I am.

I ran on all fours to the jungle. I had bloodlust. It feels great to be able to kill anything I want and healing myself the minute I start feeding on their tasty elixir. I ventured within the ruins running like a half-animal-half-human creature, enjoying my newfound freedom. All was well until suddenly I felt the presence of something else that was far more superior than me. Something like a human. I sniffed the air and felt the presence of danger was coming my way. I ran as swift as I could into the woods. But unfortunately, my body was the limit and I felt slow. The danger loomed near but I could not do anything.

Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain embedded into my thigh. A big sized, but dignified figure mad his way here and snapped a collar over my neck. I tried to rip it off. After all I'm human and I do not deserve to be treated like an animal. The collar only grew tighter and it was made of a cold metal substance. I was choking and furious.

"I'm human and I must not be treated this way! Who are you?"

"Calm down boy. You're no longer human."

"what?"

The figure produced a mirror. He was wearing hooded robes with a hood over his face, causing his face to be only a shadow. He show it to me. I looked into it.

To my horror I saw that I had ears. cat ears. and sharp teeth. I could clearly see my eyes dilating in horror within the mirror. I cried, no, more like roared with all my might.

And that was all I remembered before I woke up in a cage. With the collar still on my neck. I moved my limbs but they were chained.

"where am I? what happened?"

"child, you're in my domain. The nterbra realm. The realm in which most humans refer to as, the supernatural realm."

"Why do you call me child when you treat me like an animal?" I snared, as I ran my hands to my head. No ears.

"because, child, your heart is not human. You allowed hate to conquer it. You may have a human form, but you have an animal's feral heart. Until you recover, you will have to be treated as an animal."

At that point, I regretted. I was so used to being treated as a human, yet I longed for adventure. Now I traded my humanity in the name of adventure. My heart sank.

"but, there is hope. You are no ordinary creature, child. You are still young, and you can prevent the destruction of your race."

The voice made itself a form. The same dignified, large-sized man, now in some sort of ceremonial robes, with a calm and pristine face. He did not look old nor did he look young.

"I am shelzerlab. I'm a sage in this realm. This is the realm that controls earth and everything else humans know as mother nature and the universe, and I am its ruler and keeper. There are many other beings that live here. Some are good and some are bad. Some create disasters for humans. Disasters that claim thousands of lives just because they hate humans. And those demons need to be quelled. They will cause humans to erase themselves by poisoning them with delusion, turning them against themselves. But my boy, you will be able to stop all those from happening."

My mind went blank.

"From now on, I shall train you. And you shall help me help the human race. Now, rest."

The lights went off. But I could not sleep even when my eyes are closed. In my wooden cage. Not in my pyjamas. And that was when all these memories of all that happened came back like a roll of film, each matching its perfect timeline, never out of sync. It seems to be a lot. A lot I tell you. But now, no one is watching. No one cares. All I know now is that I'm not a human anymore, and that I belong to something like his posession. It was a strange feeling, but I felt safe. And that I can no longer go back to the life I had once, even tho I laugh at my suicidal former self. It all sounds so stupid now.

All I want now, is to go back to the life I once had.

purpuru

My mood wasnt that good yesterday and today. Joe refuses to take my quiz. He kept on saying later. He was using the computer in the lab he has the cheek to reply a message to his ex classmate than to take my quiz when I was hovering around him. He's such a mutherfucking idiot. That's so fucking rude.

Next was that hypocrite Nicholas which kept bugging me for the answers that I copied yesterday. But of course hypocritic behavior never fails to ignite my anger but I hid it. So I only gave him 1 question to copy.

Well, Joe's online today and yesterday. And he did not IM me although he did It's more than obvious that he's ignoring me and that he does not have the fucking balls to ignore me in real life because no one would update his rude, blur and lazy self, which is his true colours that was revealed after he quitted playing RO. Well, guess what? I'm gonna pretend to be blur too, so that you can ignore me in true life too.

Tell him his mistakes and he will say "everyone has their own individuality, dont force me to follow your character" Fine. I'm gonna ignore you and your fucking eccentric behavior. If you're going to be rude or if you want to ignore people whom you do not need, do it to someone else. Not me and I will not take crap from you. I'm gonna ignore you from now on if you give me shit. I'll shut my eyes and ears to him.

It's not me being pussy or anything but then again I dont know anyone that can tolerate such eccentric behaviour. It does more than irratate. Joe and his bad moods. He will sit in a corner with a pouty expression and grumpy behaviour and grumble whatever he's studying as stupid. And yet he claims his moodiness does not affect anyone. Sorry chum but it does.

Okay, this has been a very moody blog. I must admit that. But what makes me a lot more angrier is that my dad is forcing me to go to hell again. Yes. He is fucking forcing me to follow him to that old junkhouse. It's so fucking boring. I'd rather die or be kidnapped by elves or aliens that to go there again and taste ultimate boredroom. I was supposed to follow my mom back to Melaka for a change of view but no. My dad wants to force me there and saying no would yield bad results. Oh screw myself.; Why the fuck do I have such a shitty life? Someone save me before I explode into a thousand bits.

Just change the song to my happy weekend. SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY WEEKEND